Amateur Hour

You will not get a memo when your child learns how to do something new. You will instead find yourself diving across the living room to shield the couch from being doused in nail polish because you were unaware that he had the hand strength and coordination to unscrew the cap.

Last Sunday at mass, Joe and I were struggling to keep Charlie contained and quiet, as usual.  He was doing all right, until the second reading.  Right after the lector read, “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord,” Charlie yelled out, “Noooooo!” across the church, from the very last pew where we were sitting.  His timing was perfect, and we could not stop laughing.   

to get one decent photo of a wiggly toddler for the Christmas cards?  Let’s count them…

Thank goodness for digital cameras - we could have busted our budget just paying for film to get one simple picture!

Charlie is about to be deposed!  We are expecting another baby in March.  We just had the first ultrasound this week, and all signs point to a baby brother.  The baby appears to be healthy, and everything seems to be progressing normally, which is such a blessing.  We’re excited, and a little scared, because now we have a better idea what we’re getting into…yikes!  Its okay, though, because I think that getting night after night of (mostly) uninterrupted sleep is making me soft.  Having a newborn in the house again will be just the thing to whip me back into shape.  Bring it on!

Well, Charlie has showed some interest in the potty, and so I thought I might try a little potty training, just to see. I didn’t have much of a plan, beyond taking off the diaper and putting him on a little potty every 30 minutes or so, watching for clues to see when he needed to go, etc. Within the first hour and a half, Charlie wet 5 times. We missed the potty every time. After cleaning up all those messes, I put the diaper back on. I think I’ll do a little more research, and maybe wait a few months before trying again.

was a wealth of amateur moments.  The other day I cut up half a banana for Charlie to eat with his breakfast.  Charlie recently added “nana” (banana) to his repertoire of words.  He loooves bananas, and after he finished what was on his plate, he asked for more.  I handed him the other half of the banana without cutting it up, just to see what he’d do with it, figuring he’d manage it okay.  I turned around, and seconds later, there’s Charlie with his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk, stuffed so full of banana that he couldn’t even close his mouth all the way.  He had shoved all of it in there at once and could barely chew.  I would have taken a picture if I wasn’t so busy making sure that he didn’t choke on the mass of banana mush in his mouth. 

Charlie had another brush with disaster this week while we were planting some flowers in the front yard.  I put some liquid fertilizer in a pitcher and added water, to give my flowers a boost.  Charlie got hold of the pitcher and tried to drink it.  I caught him, but not before he poured a bunch on his shirt.  Sheesh.  He did manage to eat some dirt while I wasn’t looking.

I wonder if Charlie’s guardian angel ever gets ticked off that he has to work overtime because I’m so clueless.   

Yesterday morning, Charlie woke up with a rash and mild fever, so we brought him to the doctor. Diagnosis: a virus. Meaning, they’re not entirely sure what it is, but its probably not serious enough to require medication. The doctor did mention something called “echovirus,” but he couldn’t be sure. He recommended that we keep him away from other kids, since he’s contagious and will remain so until the rash and fever go away. How could he have picked up this nasty bug? I can’t imagine. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that we let him roam the festering petri dish play area at the mall up in Raleigh last weekend.

I recently learned that it is possible for women to decrease the chances of their child developing an allergy to peanuts by avoiding peanuts and peanut products during their 3rd trimester and while breastfeeding. In addition, I learned that it is recommended to limit your child’s exposure to peanuts until they are 3 (especially if you have a family history of allergies.) Peanut allergy is lifelong, and can be very serious. Guess who not only ate peanut butter with reckless abandon while pregnant and breastfeeding, but also gave Charlie a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch 3 times last week? That’s right. I went to the health food store to look for an alternative, and I discovered “sunbutter,” which is pureed sunflower seeds. I thought it was pretty good, but Charlie thought it was “just okay.”

I love Charlie’s hair. I love that its red, and I love that it has soft baby curls. But Charlie’s hair was too long, and it needed to be cut. I knew this, but I was putting it off. Joe finally convinced me that it couldn’t wait any longer, and we thought we would try to cut it ourselves. And so it begins:

The plan was to sit Charlie at the edge of the sink, run the water (to keep him occupied) and use the clippers. Here’s the “before” picture:

Well, even though we were both standing right there, Charlie fell into the sink and bumped his head. Poor little guy, he can’t help that his parents are clueless. So, we tried again, this time with Charlie in my lap. We decided we should save a lock of his hair, but of course we were not prepared to do that, and didn’t have a rubber band small enough to hold his hair. So we did this instead:

Yeah, we’re running a quality operation here. Anyway, we finished cutting his hair.
Here is the result of our efforts:

Not good. We are not barbers. Charlie was looking a little bit like Adolf Hitler with that funky comb-over, so we decided that we should bring him to a professional. We brought him here:

Did you notice the sticker in the window that says “Military Cut $7.30?” I didn’t. This will be important later. The woman who cut his hair was very nice. I asked that she leave it long. What I said was, “I don’t want it to look like he’s enlisting.” Here’s Charlie in the chair, looking pretty happy:

Before long, he got a little scared. Perhaps he noticed the sticker in the window and knew what was coming:

And here’s the finished product:

*Sigh* He looks like a new recruit. The sticker in the window should have been a clue. Oh, well, it will grow back, I suppose.