But wait, there’s more! Go to this site and click on “Watch Ready-Set-Bumbo Videos” to find the rest. Watch them in order if you can.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, “Bumbo” is the name of the little chair the baby is sitting in. Here’s Daniel in his bumbo:

Charlie in the baby gym…with the binky:

Charlie trying to squeeze himself into the bumbo baby chair:

Charlie trying to fit in Daniel’s car seat…with the binky:

I guess he’s missing the good old days of binkies and babyhood. Being a toddler can be stressful, with lots of new responsibilities; dumping the freshly-folded laundry on the floor, coloring on the furniture, emptying mommy’s wallet - its a full-time job! Come to think of it, I could use a binky myself right about now…but I want one like this.

Ten tiny toes are perfect for praying a decade of the rosary while nursing.

Hence, a mother raising children, perhaps in a more privileged way even than a professional contemplative, is forced, almost against her will, to constantly stretch her heart. For years, while raising children, her time is never her own, her own needs have to be kept in second place, and every time she turns around a hand is reaching out and demanding something. She hears the monastic bell many times during the day and she has to drop things in mid-sentence and respond, not because she wants to, but because it’s time for that activity and time isn’t her time, but God’s time.

…never send to know for whom the monastic bell tolls; it tolls for me!

Oh, and here’s a picture of Daniel in the cutest onesie of all time ( a gift from his fabulous godparents):

On Friday the 28th, I went in for an ultrasound and non-stress test, which are standard tests to monitor the baby’s condition when you go overdue. The non-stress test (which measures the baby’s heart rate over time) was fine, but when the ultrasound tech came in and looked at the ultrasound, we had the following conversation:

Tech: Have you been leaking amniotic fluid?

Me: No, why, is it all gone? Haha. (I was kidding.)

Tech: Yep.

Me: What?!

Officially, I had oligohydramnios, which is a fancy word for low amniotic fluid levels and can happen when a baby is overdue. The baby appeared to be fine, but the lack of amniotic fluid was an indication that the placenta was getting old and tired, and ready to throw in the towel. This was not a good thing since I was still nowhere near being in labor yet.

I called Joe, thinking I would leave a message, but I got lucky and he answered. He was in Tampa. I told him what was happening, and he started working on getting to the hospital. Thanks to good luck and helpful co-workers, Joe was at the hospital within 4 hours. I was admitted immediately, and the midwife came in to give me my options: induction or c-section. My Bishop’s Score was zero, which meant the induction would likely fail. The plan was to start with a very low-risk foley bulb overnight, and if I still wasn’t in labor in the morning we would reassess.

I didn’t sleep at all that night - the foley bulb triggered intermittent contractions, enough to keep me awake and annoy me, but not enough to make serious progress. In the morning, I was still not in labor. The bulb had done all it could do, the only remaining options were to proceed with pitocin or go straight for the surgery. I was terrified of the pitocin, and almost gave up and went for the surgery. Joe helped me get through that, and we started the pit at 9am on Saturday.

I progressed well up to 7cm, when I was in some serious pain and I stalled out for a while. I was worried about how an epidural would affect my progress - I had heard many stories about epidurals leading to c-sections. However, I couldn’t manage the pain any longer, so I asked for it. I was truly amazed at the pain relief it provided, and within minutes I fell asleep (at this point I had been awake for at least 34 hours.) I was fully dilated at 8pm, and pushed for just under 30 minutes, which really surprised me. First-time moms often push for an hour or three, but for me it was pretty quick and easy (thanks to the epidural!) I am now the proud owner of a “proven pelvis” as well as the proud mommy to two sweet boys.

So he’s here! He’s beautiful and healthy and we are so grateful for this gift from God!

Labor:

• I would like to be free to walk around as much as possible during labor. (This is wishful thinking. They aren’t going to let me off the EFM, so I’ll be tied to at least one machine the entire time. I will probably be able to walk around the bed, but not anywhere else.)
• I would like to be able to move around and change positions throughout labor.
• I would prefer to keep the number of vaginal exams to a minimum.
• I would prefer a hep lock to an IV, unless I am unable to stay hydrated by drinking water/clear liquids for some reason.

Monitoring:

• I understand the importance of external fetal monitoring. I would like the opportunity to be removed from the EFM for short periods of time. I will be happy to carry a Doppler to monitor the baby’s heart rate while I am away from the monitor. (They already told me that I will only be allowed off the monitor to go to the bathroom, and that’s only because the wires won’t reach to the bathroom.)
• I would like to avoid internal fetal monitoring if at all possible.

Labor Induction and Augmentation:

• If I am overdue, or my labor stalls out, I will consider non-pharmacological and natural methods of labor induction and augmentation (e.g. walking, foley bulb, breast pump, etc.)
• I would like to avoid pitocin and prostaglandins.

Pain Medication:

• I will ask for pain medication when I feel that it is necessary – there is no need to offer. Unless you’re making margaritas in the break room – in that case, feel free to offer anytime. I like mine on the rocks, with salt.

Episiotomy:

• I would like to avoid an episiotomy. If one is necessary, please inform me, and numb the area before cutting.

Birth:

• I would like to choose the position in which I give birth.
• Once I am fully dilated, I would like to try and wait until I feel the urge to push before beginning that phase.
• If possible, I would like compresses and perineal support to allow tissues to stretch and minimize tearing. (See what I mean? Horrifying.)
• I would like to hold my baby immediately after birth.

After Birth:

• I would like time to allow the cord to stop pulsing before clamping and cutting.
• I would like local anesthetic before repairing any damage from episiotomy and/or tears. (You would think that this should go without saying, but just in case, I’m saying it.)
• I would like the baby to stay with me at all times, including during any necessary examinations.
• I would like to be seen by a lactation consultant as soon as possible.

Cesarean:

• I would like to avoid a Cesarean unless absolutely necessary.
• I would like the incision in my uterus to be double-stitched closed.
• I would like my labor support (particularly my husband) to stay with me at all times.
• I would prefer that my arms not be tied down during the surgery. (This is wishful thinking as well - I know they’re going to tie my arms down, I just want them to know that I don’t like it.)
• I would like the baby to stay with me at all times after the birth unless he is in distress and needs medical care.

If I really had control over this baby’s birth, my birth plan would read as follows:

• I would like my baby delivered via FedEx same-day delivery.
• Please be sure to pack the baby properly so as to avoid even the slightest damage.
• Please note that this package must be carefully handled and stored only in a temperature-controlled environment.
• I would like the package insured, and I would like a tracking number, so that I can monitor his progress along the delivery route.
• If you can phone ahead with an approximate delivery time, that would be much appreciated - a 4-hour window is fine. That way, I will be sure to be home to sign for the package.
• Please note that only my husband or myself are authorized to accept this package. Do not just leave the baby on the porch, or attempt to leave him at a neighbor’s house. Thank you.